things I am trying to remember

the sound of his voice

his hugs

his laugh

Every year this day comes I hope it will be easier by the next year. But it doesn't. I can not believe that it has been 14 years already. Time is going by so fast. With it being the 14th year without him I have now lived more of my life with out him that I had with him (if that makes any sense) I think about what I could have done different that night so he wouldn't have left. I think about the last thing I said to him when he walked out the door. I think about what he would be doing now...if he would have a wife...babies. I think about how different all of our lives would be if he would be here...I think and think and think all day long. This is the 1 day where Jolin lets me just stay in bed all day long, but I never do. I play with my sweet babies and try not to think. i miss you matt-xo

Cory saved Christmas...

We are snowed in...so snowed in that it took my family over an hour to get to our house. We only live 3 miles away from them. They got 3 houses away from us and they all got stuck. Thank goodness Cory has some amazing friends who were willing to leave their families to help plow our road so we could all be together today. We had drifts that were at least 4 feet high. We spent the day eating...drinking...opening gifts...and watching movies. It was a blast. I wish we would have been able to make it back to Iowa to see our family but I am also so glad we weren't shacked up here alone! Last night we made it to 6 o'clock mass. The kids did amazing. Ava even took her offering up to the front all alone! The last time we let her go up alone she took the money from the basket and then never returned to our pew =) We found her on the other side of the church looking for us. Haha...it was pretty funny. After church we went over to my mom and dads and had a late supper then we came home and the kids went right to bed. Ava was so excited for Santa to come. It was so cute. This morning when the kids got up, Ava ran right to the tree and got right into the gifts. Santa brought them this little roller coaster thing...it was a hit. He even set it up so we didn't have to mess with it this morning! What a great guy! I think Santa should have just brought that gift. Everything else got put on the back burner. We had a wonderful meal. Nothing like what we are use to when we go back to my grandmas but it worked =) We had so much fun and are so blessed. The only thing missing today was Mike, Oliver & Leyna. We are hoping to see them this week! Oliver has lots of gifts under our tree and Miss Ava is DYING to open them ;) Hope everyone has a wonderful holiday and is staying warm!

B & her new doll house

Kye trying to figure out this whole unwrapping thing =)

Our little slugger

Jolin stacked them & he knocked them down!

B checking out her stocking!!!

YEA! our family can come over now!

Wyatt & Kye

Not listening...do not touch any buttons & do not play with the remotes...

B at church lookin all cute in her Christmas dress!

Kye Monthly Archives- Month 12

Kye- 12 months ago today you swept me off my feet...for the 3rd time in my life! You have made this last year a blast. Time has gone by so fast but I am not surprised because it went just as fast as Ava's first year. You are growing up so fast...you are walking already! Actually you are running with a little wobble in your step =) Your favorite thing to do is climb the stairs. I hate it when you do this because all I can see is you falling right back down them. You are always such a happy little guy. You love you big sister and you get so excited when she is around. You 2 keep each other pretty entertained. You say 3 words...mama, dada and Cheryl (your babysitters name). It was so funny the first time we heard you say "Cheryl"- we couldn't believe it--- but then it made me realize how much time you spend at daycare =( You have a total of 6 teeth now. We are going to kick bottles after the 1st of the year and you are now on table food for the most part. You give the best hugs and you have made our little family so happy since you arrived. We love you so much & fall more and more in love with you every day! cheers to the last 12 months---xoxoxo mommy, daddy and ava

Kye enjoying his birthday cake whisk...you enjoyed it...yummy sugar =)

Kye's birthday cake! It turned out perfect & yummy

Our little Birthday boy!!!

Ava feeding Kye his cake. He was not feeling well and couldn't feed himself ;)

Wyatt helping Kye open his gifts! They are a great team!!!

Kye on his Red Retro Rocket from auntie Em & uncle Cory & Wyatt

Kye opening his gifts...

Ava enjoying Kye's new ride...She made sure that he understood that this was HER car.

Poor guy...

Kye has not been feeling good. He had his 12 month check up on Friday and he has a ear infection. So we spent this weekend snuggling and keeping warm.

this time last year...

I was laboring at home...timing my contractions. Little did I know that tonight would be that last time I would get to sleep and that I would be awake for the next 48 hours. Time has gone by so fast. Kye is going to be 1 on Monday and I should probably remind my husband that when Ava turned one I had a BAD case of baby fever =) We have a busy weekend of baking ahead of us. I also need to do a blog from Thanksgiving & update on the punks. Kye is walking everywhere. He has actually been walking for a good 3 weeks! Now he is running. It is so cute, he gets so excited. I think he is just so happy that he can keep up with B now =) Ava's vocabulary is growing more and more every day. She amazes Jolin and I with the things that just come flowing out of her mouth. Some of the things make our jaws hit the floor and make us wonder where she picts up such words but she can always make us roll on the floor with laughter. I would love to blog her "Avaisims" but I don't want my grandmother to think that I have a daughter with a dirty mouth ;) Jolin and I are planning on going birthday/Christmas shopping some time this weekend too. I have been trying to get our Christmas cards ordered too but I am having a hard time deciding on the layout. It sure sounds like we are going to be busier than I thought...I better get to bed! Hope everyone has a great weekend!!!!!

no problem mon...

I can not even BEGIN to tell you how much fun we had but I will tell you one thing...I am so happy to be home with my babies. 7 days was WAY to long for me to go without seeing them...kissing them...it was torture...pure torture...but I am sure I will do it again in the future! haha

ok so the trip...we had a blast. I am pretty sure my dad, Jolin and Cory took FULL advantage of the "all inclusive" resort...I am pretty sure I am still recovering from the Cosgrove wedding so I only got out of hand one day. We flew out last Monday morning at 6:30 and didn't get to our resort till late Monday night...but as soon as we got to Jamaica the drinking began...and the dancing began- I am still laughing...

***video of steve shakin' it will not upload...will try again later...its so worth the wait...***

em & cory enjoying some red stripe

on a stop on our way to the resort

these 3 are trouble...

Ok so we get to the resort and we all get settled into our rooms...Jolin and I along with mom and dad head down to the beach party...I play some beach volleyball...and we continue to drink...

I have no idea where Em and Cory were...they ditched us fast..haha

We spent the whole day on Tuesday on the beach...working on our tans. It was a good day =)

em & i on a stroll

em,, cory, mom & dad

on Wednesday we went to Mystic Mountain-taking the ski lift up to go zip lining

bob sled team

zip line crew

a crazy tree

On Thursday we went on the party boat to the falls---

above----papa steve & g'ma meme

cory & em

1st time snorkeling

me & my sis

my view for the last 7 days...

you tell me how many brides you know get to crawl on the beach the morning of their wedding! ha-ha

getting ready...so pretty

em & cory

the reception

the cake

em & me

*I will get more picts from the wedding...they are on Em's card!!!

Jolin & I

out for drinks after the "i do's"

mom, erin, em & I

those 2 were on my mind the whole time

my last sunrise in jamaica =(

our last breakfast in jamaica before we were on our way to the airport

jolin & i on our way home!!!

my view for 1o hours of my life on Monday...

the BEST 2 people to come home to =)

* a very special thank you to Chad & Lori Woods for taking such good care of my babies. They had a blast and Ava keeps asking when we can paint her toenails again =)

*G'ma & G'pa Hirschman- thanks so much for making the drive to spend time with Ava and Kye. they adore you guys and I hope you know how much we appreciate everything you guys do.

livin' on love

WE ARE BACK!!! AND... we are home owners again!!! woohoo!!! As you can see from above we are now livin on love and Ramen noodles.Kye is pretty excited if you cant tell by the look on his face=)

kitchen (before move in)

Kitchen during move in...uh we have a lot of stuff...

Main/Kids bath

living room

entry way

kitchen

master bath

master bath

I have more picts to take of the kids bedrooms and our bedroom. I just seriously have not had any time. Heck I shouldn't even be blogging. We went to the Iowa/Minnesota game last weekend and had a blast of course...then we have Thanksgiving this week and then on Sunday the kids go to Chad & Lori Woods and Jolin and I get on a plane early Monday morning and head for JAMAICA! Jolin's mom is going to come and stay with the kids to for the other 1/2 of the trip. We are so thankful for everyone that his helping us out while we are gone. We have a crazy month but it has been a blast! I am looking forward to my last day of work tomorrow and will be off for 2 weeks! A couple weeks ago I was having some issues with my left leg. I could feel a warm sensation going up my leg then traveling up to my thigh then it would stop. It would happen every 2 hours, like clock work. I had to go and have a ultra sound on my leg and it turns out that I have a incompetent vein and they are going to have to either remove the vein or seal it off? I have to wear those sexy compression leggings while I fly...great...cant wait=) But at least my procedure can wait till we get back! Ava is not so sure about the house anymore. We went over to my mom and dads the other day and Ava walked in and said "I'm home..." she got to play for awhile then we came back home. We weren't even home for a hour and Ava says to me "Mom, I am ready to go home." I said "well Ava, this is our home now. You, me, daddy and Kye all live here as a family, this is the way it is suppose to be"- She did not like that answer and told me that she likes it better at G'ma & G'pa Schweitzberger's and cried till I got my mom on the phone. She refused to sleep in her bed because she said there are monsters in her room...great...looks like I am going to have to go and buy a bigger bed! I am sure with us leaving for a week won't help things either. It is going to be so hard to be away from them for this long but I can not wait for a vacation!!! Kye is such a rock star. He is taking 10-15 steps at a time! I am sure he will master walking by the time we get back. I feel like I have so much to catch up on but I also have a laundry basket of clothes giving me a very dirty look...I will try my best to get on again and update on the kids! Hope everyone has a happy thanksgiving!!!

no internet...

We are still trying to get all unpacked. I can not believe how much stuff we have. I have been working on the house since Friday and I don't think I even have one room 100% complete yet. All I know is that I HAVE to have it done by Thursday night because Jolin and I are leaving for the Iowa/Minnesota game that we go to every year with some friends. We have another couple joining our trip! So now we have 4 couples =) It is always so much fun but I just know that if I don't have this house in order before we go I am not going to be able to stop thinking about it. We still have not had time to get out Internet/cable set up so I am not able to post picts of the house but as soon as I get time I will get some up. Everything looks great and Ava and Kye love the new house. I can not wait for the night when I don't have any boxes to unpack and I can just lay in that tub that keeps calling my name every time I walk past it ;)